reasons why halloween is the best holiday:
- you are not obliged to visit your relatives
- you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
- people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
- its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin
5. no one will look at you funny when you buy eighteen boxes of candy even though you fully intend to sit in the dark and eat them alone.
6. discount candy
repeat after me:
- virginity is a social construct
- you don’t lose your virginity
- there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept
- virginity is inherently heterocentric
- your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
- what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with
- the end
Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually
shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg
shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone.
Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.
remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression ever. wheres that gif